A little help for you concerning the Albatross:

-Jeff

Q2c: Why can an Albatross be used to reunite the Eastern and Western churches?

DAVE: Because it is the most formidable power object in the known universe: a wildly improbable plot device. Like the Maltese Falcon only more politically formidable. In a Real World context,, I called my notebooks my Albatrosses because I was as saddled with them much like Coleridge’s Ancient Mariner. So I was declaring in a way—by making the albatross statue that significant in High Society—that I was ambitious enough to want to do something of remarkable significance with all the half-witted notions and half-baked philosophies I was sketching out and jotting down in my own “albatrosses”. “Invoke often,” is the first rule of the sort of mysticism that one finds in used paperbacks in 5 for a dollar bins. Unless one is in a New Age bookstore, in which case one can pay 50 dollars to be told the same thing between hemp-derived hard covers.

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The only development they got was during the big meetup scene in the alley.

* Ironhide has big guns.
* Jazz is black.
* Ratchet fixes thing.

During the final battle:

* EVERYONE seemed to have big guns, so Ironhide had nothing special going for him there.
* Jazz is still black.
* Ratchet can’t be bothered to fix Bumblebee’s legs or save Jazz’s life. Clearly, he is the worst medic in the universe.

The Decepticons got no development at all, save a one-liner Megatron tossed at Starscream for “failing him again.” Oh yeah, and “Frenzy is an annoying waste of CGI money.”

P.S. Ratchet doesn’t care about black people.

[spoilers ahead]

This movie was so filled with useless characters and subplots, my brain has been actively working to forget them and just remember the 20 good minutes of bot-on-bot crime.

Please explain why a military base in Qatar was the easiest place to tap into the mainframe. Please explain why after THAT failed (big surprise), we have to watch “Frenzy” scamper around like Jar-Jar Binks while HE attempts to break in. Then we have Scorpinok, whose sole purpose is to kill a handful of survivors from Blackout’s attack, yet instead of picking them off out in the barren desert, he waits until they get cover and a cell phone.

Now begins the “hacker” subplot. How was any of this important? Why go through all this trouble introducing:

* Aussie hacker chick and her team
* Goofy fat black man (apparently the quota for this movie was two goofy, fat black men), his cousin and his momma
* Adapting, sound-based spider-viruses

just to determine the name of the fucking file Frenzy was after?

There’s more that I hated about it, but like I said, I’m trying hard to erase them.

I agree with some random goon when he said, “It’s the worst movie I’ve ever seen that I will watch over and over and over.”

E13: The One Where Baltar Gets Tortured. (Lots of classic Baltar worming and sniveling for his life. Plus loads of ‘crazy eye’, which Baltar-Actor does very well.)

E17: Adama make model ship. Adama sad…ADAMA SMASH!!!
(I read somewhere that Olmos improvised the Hulking-out, and that the model was actually an antique worth 100K. ‘Method Actor…ANGRY! Chased by props department through desert! Throw Raptors at them! Jump many miles away.’ Repeat.)

E18: Romo Lampkin, a non-cliche defense attorney character. ‘Cynical idealist’ doesn’t work in theory, but Badger-Actor pulled it off nicely, I thought.

E20: Tigh and Tyrol’s reactions to being Cylons were both excellent. Tyrol, who thought about the possibility since Season 2, is resigned to his fate. Tigh’s reaction is the exact opposite: Frak that.

But of course none of those things make up for so egregiously violating the suspension of disbelief by including that Dylan/Hendrix song.